11.17.2004
attention, feeling, body, breath. what makes you.
we say "love is the answer, love is the answer", but love is the problem.
the problem is time, death, change. But life IS death. Life IS change. And all of these are One: the process of love. When I was a Protestant, we talked about a "God-shaped hole" in the heart, and how you need to fill it with God to acheive real happiness, peace, all
the good things religions promise without consistent delivery. I imagine the "heart" looks a bit like
[a href="http://www.meru.org/compuimages/3-10blossom.html"] this[/a]. And that "hole" is what completes us. It allows all manner of energies to flow through you.
Most peopleview happiness as some sort of stasis, some establishment, something you can hold on to. but that's silly.
We, as humans, must learn to accept that change is the inherent nature of all things, and that any apparent deviation is unnaturally applied. That is, we must not struggle for postive things, we must struggle for positive change: Love. And that is a task of infinite joy and duration. Happiness is a flow, just like everything. When you look for it to enter you, you should see that in fact it passes through you. You're like a bottom cup of coffee, except not only are you never empty, your "cup" also has no bottom! and yet you struggle to fill it with all manner of things.
more later!
we say "love is the answer, love is the answer", but love is the problem.
the problem is time, death, change. But life IS death. Life IS change. And all of these are One: the process of love. When I was a Protestant, we talked about a "God-shaped hole" in the heart, and how you need to fill it with God to acheive real happiness, peace, all
the good things religions promise without consistent delivery. I imagine the "heart" looks a bit like
[a href="http://www.meru.org/compuimages/3-10blossom.html"] this[/a]. And that "hole" is what completes us. It allows all manner of energies to flow through you.
Most peopleview happiness as some sort of stasis, some establishment, something you can hold on to. but that's silly.
We, as humans, must learn to accept that change is the inherent nature of all things, and that any apparent deviation is unnaturally applied. That is, we must not struggle for postive things, we must struggle for positive change: Love. And that is a task of infinite joy and duration. Happiness is a flow, just like everything. When you look for it to enter you, you should see that in fact it passes through you. You're like a bottom cup of coffee, except not only are you never empty, your "cup" also has no bottom! and yet you struggle to fill it with all manner of things.
more later!
9.26.2004
The following post is open part of an email I sent to Sena Khademi, my frat brother, good friend, and National Guardsman recently returned from a tour in Iraq. Yeah, they sent the National Guard to Iraq because it was cheaper than sending the Army. Anyways. He's going through some tough shit right now, and is being held for medical reasons at an Army hostipal in (IIRC) Washington, D.C. The following is my sharing with him some important parts of my faith.
But enough about that. I need to call upon some of my spiritual mumbo-jumbo to help your consciousness acclimate to its surroundings. Baby, you ARE consciousness. You've never been anything but. Every experience, every memory, every fantasy, every sensation, every desire, every like and dislike, every pain or pleasure or hurt or joy can all be boiled down to the same thing. Each is an object that arises in your consciousness(or "awareness"), lingers, then fades away. Everything you've ever known has been nothing but objects in consciousness. Which is what you are. You aren't your body. If you believe in any God or ghost you should know this. The body is nothing more than an object in consciousness. It arises, it lingers, and it fades away. Throughout our lives we have been taught, by our body, family, community, or culture, to associate particular objects with various degreees of good and bad. And that, we believe, has meaning. We establish a "norm" close to our Selves and assess other Selves by that scale. For example, have you noticed that some people are simply never happy? They could have everything a "normal" person would want, and yet they choose to feel negatively about the vast majority of the objects that arise in their consciousness. Likewise, some people are always happy. Do you think this has anything to do with getting "what you want"? What you want is understanding, peace, and satisfaction. But none of these things come when clinging to the objects that arise. The things that happen to you aren't you. Just let them go, just be. Just be awareness. Live in the present, focus all of your attention towards it. Where else would you live? The present is the only time you ever have.
I want you to go back to that list (every [blank], every [blank]...). And tell me which of those things, when you start clinging to it, identifying yourself with it, doesn't end up badly. These things are transient. We constantly seek out pleasure, thinking it will bring more than that. But it never does. When you seek pleasure, you get pleasure. Fleeting, transient. Nothing more. You know, some famous philosopher said "I think, therefore I am." He means it as a proof, but the relationship sounds causal. I offer this in rebuttal: I am aware, therefore I am. Awareness is the first breach into existence. And I would confidently say that you and I, no matter what we perceive ourselves to be, no matter what we identify ourselves with in this transient, fleeting moment, are simply, at our core, awareness. All else is an illusion, a filter, a context through which we choose to view the objects that were or are or will be passing through this singular awareness.
"What is the meaning of life?" I could not answer this question well until recently. I understood the answer 9 months ago, after reading the NDEs. I said "The meaning of life... is just life." It sounds like a cop-out answer, and certainly is not useful for people who have yet to understand it. But I tell you now that the meaning of life is just to be. The universe is exploring itself, and the infinite variations of the structures contained within. I should define my terms. A "structure" is anything that can be defined as a single object. No two structures are ever identical, but all structures repeat themselves. And all structures are made of other structures, and part of other stuctures. (The Prime Structure, that is, entirely everything everywhen, is what we would call the universe. Or possibly God.) Look at the trees. Think of trees worldwide. Every single one is a variation on the structure of "tree", the active exploration of the universe that (in part) is them. But structures are perceivably fourth dimensional - that is, you may take the structure we call "Sena" and see clearly that he is a single object made up of many different Sena's. Every single moment, you are personally exploring a new version of what it means to be Sena. Every division of time is a slight variation on the structure "Sena". Every moment, you are newly unique. If the meaning of life is to just be, it would follow that it is the most rewarding and fulfilling task you can undertake. And, truly, you will find there is no greater joy or peace than to just be, and to love, celebrate, and appreciate each new facet of all the infinite structures around you. Right now is all it takes. Right now is all there ever is. So I want you to sit back, relax, and just be for a while. Just take it all in. Just be, aware, as fully as you can. And savor each taste of reality which that awareness brings you.
Reality is tasty.
I hope this was of use to you. Really, some of our huge religious misunderstandings stem from some very fundamental assumptions. Conversely, some of our greatest religious enlightenments stem from a shift in those same assumptions. For example, have you ever considered the possibility that your soul has existed since before you were born? That it could potentially be infinitely old? That, if these be true, your soul is completely infinite and that this life is but a brief, fleshy dalliance in the timeline of your awareness? Have you ever considered the possibility that right now, here, your awareness was not limited by a body and five senses? Have you ever thought that maybe a single body isn't the best viewpoint from which to assess life and the world? Have you ever thought that maybe, humanity was a single entity, and that our belief in a seperate Self creates the appearance of such?
I imagine that most people haven't. Go ahead, consider it. Think about it. Is it not at least an equally baseless set of assumptions? So maybe you'd like to try just being for a while. Just being right now. If it doesn't pan out as planned, you can always go back. But I gotta say, it's a lot of fun just being happy about existence. And savoring every moment has not made me oblivious to the things around me(good bad or neutral), because full awareness of them precedes my celebration. My experience, in the very least, has just been being more in touch with everything.
Peace.
-K
But enough about that. I need to call upon some of my spiritual mumbo-jumbo to help your consciousness acclimate to its surroundings. Baby, you ARE consciousness. You've never been anything but. Every experience, every memory, every fantasy, every sensation, every desire, every like and dislike, every pain or pleasure or hurt or joy can all be boiled down to the same thing. Each is an object that arises in your consciousness(or "awareness"), lingers, then fades away. Everything you've ever known has been nothing but objects in consciousness. Which is what you are. You aren't your body. If you believe in any God or ghost you should know this. The body is nothing more than an object in consciousness. It arises, it lingers, and it fades away. Throughout our lives we have been taught, by our body, family, community, or culture, to associate particular objects with various degreees of good and bad. And that, we believe, has meaning. We establish a "norm" close to our Selves and assess other Selves by that scale. For example, have you noticed that some people are simply never happy? They could have everything a "normal" person would want, and yet they choose to feel negatively about the vast majority of the objects that arise in their consciousness. Likewise, some people are always happy. Do you think this has anything to do with getting "what you want"? What you want is understanding, peace, and satisfaction. But none of these things come when clinging to the objects that arise. The things that happen to you aren't you. Just let them go, just be. Just be awareness. Live in the present, focus all of your attention towards it. Where else would you live? The present is the only time you ever have.
I want you to go back to that list (every [blank], every [blank]...). And tell me which of those things, when you start clinging to it, identifying yourself with it, doesn't end up badly. These things are transient. We constantly seek out pleasure, thinking it will bring more than that. But it never does. When you seek pleasure, you get pleasure. Fleeting, transient. Nothing more. You know, some famous philosopher said "I think, therefore I am." He means it as a proof, but the relationship sounds causal. I offer this in rebuttal: I am aware, therefore I am. Awareness is the first breach into existence. And I would confidently say that you and I, no matter what we perceive ourselves to be, no matter what we identify ourselves with in this transient, fleeting moment, are simply, at our core, awareness. All else is an illusion, a filter, a context through which we choose to view the objects that were or are or will be passing through this singular awareness.
"What is the meaning of life?" I could not answer this question well until recently. I understood the answer 9 months ago, after reading the NDEs. I said "The meaning of life... is just life." It sounds like a cop-out answer, and certainly is not useful for people who have yet to understand it. But I tell you now that the meaning of life is just to be. The universe is exploring itself, and the infinite variations of the structures contained within. I should define my terms. A "structure" is anything that can be defined as a single object. No two structures are ever identical, but all structures repeat themselves. And all structures are made of other structures, and part of other stuctures. (The Prime Structure, that is, entirely everything everywhen, is what we would call the universe. Or possibly God.) Look at the trees. Think of trees worldwide. Every single one is a variation on the structure of "tree", the active exploration of the universe that (in part) is them. But structures are perceivably fourth dimensional - that is, you may take the structure we call "Sena" and see clearly that he is a single object made up of many different Sena's. Every single moment, you are personally exploring a new version of what it means to be Sena. Every division of time is a slight variation on the structure "Sena". Every moment, you are newly unique. If the meaning of life is to just be, it would follow that it is the most rewarding and fulfilling task you can undertake. And, truly, you will find there is no greater joy or peace than to just be, and to love, celebrate, and appreciate each new facet of all the infinite structures around you. Right now is all it takes. Right now is all there ever is. So I want you to sit back, relax, and just be for a while. Just take it all in. Just be, aware, as fully as you can. And savor each taste of reality which that awareness brings you.
Reality is tasty.
I hope this was of use to you. Really, some of our huge religious misunderstandings stem from some very fundamental assumptions. Conversely, some of our greatest religious enlightenments stem from a shift in those same assumptions. For example, have you ever considered the possibility that your soul has existed since before you were born? That it could potentially be infinitely old? That, if these be true, your soul is completely infinite and that this life is but a brief, fleshy dalliance in the timeline of your awareness? Have you ever considered the possibility that right now, here, your awareness was not limited by a body and five senses? Have you ever thought that maybe a single body isn't the best viewpoint from which to assess life and the world? Have you ever thought that maybe, humanity was a single entity, and that our belief in a seperate Self creates the appearance of such?
I imagine that most people haven't. Go ahead, consider it. Think about it. Is it not at least an equally baseless set of assumptions? So maybe you'd like to try just being for a while. Just being right now. If it doesn't pan out as planned, you can always go back. But I gotta say, it's a lot of fun just being happy about existence. And savoring every moment has not made me oblivious to the things around me(good bad or neutral), because full awareness of them precedes my celebration. My experience, in the very least, has just been being more in touch with everything.
Peace.
-K
1.22.2004
the source of these ideas: I was brought to my new understanding by reading about near-death experiences. What I read simply made too much sense to not believe absolutely, and immediately. However, things I had not read about also became clear to me, as if I couldn't just take one piece of the understanding, I had to take it all at once. The conclusions I came to independently match up quite nicely with the conclusions near death experiencers have come to, but it seems that everyone has their own way of putting it.
If you would like to read what I have read, the site is http://www.near-death.com. I'll add it to the sidebar.
The things i found most useful to me, at first, were the first three "notable NDEs"(bottom left, main page). "Ritchie", "Storm", and "Benedict".
part 2 of three.
part 1 was "God and Man"
this is "Man and Man"
before I begin, I should note that the afterlife, whether good or bad, is presented to us in a way that we will absolutely understand it. Our concepts shape what we see and experience, just as our hearts direct us to where we are to go.
Why is there so much suffering in the world?
-It comes with the territory, by which I mean "free will" and "an animal body". Survival of the Fittest is a law of this world. We compete for food, territory, and mating rights. Not that we have to. There is more than enough food, territory, and mating to go around, but man has been given the choice to disrupt harmony and balance in order to "get ahead". Bad things, however, can yield positive results. Look at Hitler. Through his lust for domination, bigotry, and hate, the modern world has been given a perfect example of what these disruptive forces are capable of. Some choose not to learn that lesson, but nevertheless, it is there. We know that these are bad, bad things, and should be stopped whenever possible. And suffering yields growth in many. Obstacles overcome are a notch in our belt of our spiritual strength. And we must face the facts that humans are the ones who have created the world's suffering, and we are the only ones who can repair it, or I fear an even greater lesson than Hitler may be in store.
Come on now, admit it. People suck. You know it, I know it.
-No. I thought I knew it, but I've seen otherwise. All people are God's children, a part of the divine, and at their core, beautiful. There is no evil, only ignorance. That's why I'm writing this at all. We need to see that there are no differences - people are just people, and we're all in this together. We, as people, need to put our "differences" aside and come together. We live in a world of vast spiritual ignorance - I want to do what I can to change that. People have been corrupted, there's no denying that, but I see it as confusion, not some essential part of who we are.
end main post.
I think I'm just going to stop here on this part, since it's the least fun to talk about - there is so much ill will between us, and I find it hard to explain properly. In fact, since I've "seen the light", as it were, I find these truths to become increasingly ingrained in me, and it's just becoming part of who I am, and how I understand the world. The downside is that I find it harder to explain what brought me to these truths. It was rather odd how my perspective on people changed - I read how they were seen by near death experiencers, and I knew it to be true. There was no domino effect of logical conclusions, which is in part why I am having such trouble with a step-by-step explanation.
Next time - "Man and the World"
-K
If you would like to read what I have read, the site is http://www.near-death.com. I'll add it to the sidebar.
The things i found most useful to me, at first, were the first three "notable NDEs"(bottom left, main page). "Ritchie", "Storm", and "Benedict".
part 2 of three.
part 1 was "God and Man"
this is "Man and Man"
before I begin, I should note that the afterlife, whether good or bad, is presented to us in a way that we will absolutely understand it. Our concepts shape what we see and experience, just as our hearts direct us to where we are to go.
Why is there so much suffering in the world?
-It comes with the territory, by which I mean "free will" and "an animal body". Survival of the Fittest is a law of this world. We compete for food, territory, and mating rights. Not that we have to. There is more than enough food, territory, and mating to go around, but man has been given the choice to disrupt harmony and balance in order to "get ahead". Bad things, however, can yield positive results. Look at Hitler. Through his lust for domination, bigotry, and hate, the modern world has been given a perfect example of what these disruptive forces are capable of. Some choose not to learn that lesson, but nevertheless, it is there. We know that these are bad, bad things, and should be stopped whenever possible. And suffering yields growth in many. Obstacles overcome are a notch in our belt of our spiritual strength. And we must face the facts that humans are the ones who have created the world's suffering, and we are the only ones who can repair it, or I fear an even greater lesson than Hitler may be in store.
Come on now, admit it. People suck. You know it, I know it.
-No. I thought I knew it, but I've seen otherwise. All people are God's children, a part of the divine, and at their core, beautiful. There is no evil, only ignorance. That's why I'm writing this at all. We need to see that there are no differences - people are just people, and we're all in this together. We, as people, need to put our "differences" aside and come together. We live in a world of vast spiritual ignorance - I want to do what I can to change that. People have been corrupted, there's no denying that, but I see it as confusion, not some essential part of who we are.
end main post.
I think I'm just going to stop here on this part, since it's the least fun to talk about - there is so much ill will between us, and I find it hard to explain properly. In fact, since I've "seen the light", as it were, I find these truths to become increasingly ingrained in me, and it's just becoming part of who I am, and how I understand the world. The downside is that I find it harder to explain what brought me to these truths. It was rather odd how my perspective on people changed - I read how they were seen by near death experiencers, and I knew it to be true. There was no domino effect of logical conclusions, which is in part why I am having such trouble with a step-by-step explanation.
Next time - "Man and the World"
-K
