tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32072692011-04-21T23:01:13.212-04:00the burnham fileshello, special radio friends.rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comBlogger331100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-1100712200687103282004-11-17T11:20:00.000-05:002004-11-17T12:23:20.686-05:00attention, feeling, body, breath. what makes you.
we say "love is the answer, love is the answer", but love is the problem.
the problem is time, death, change. But life IS death. Life IS change. And all of these are One: the process of love. When I was a Protestant, we talked about a "God-shaped hole" in the heart, and how you need to fill it with God to acheive rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-1096218930477813592004-09-26T13:12:00.000-04:002004-09-26T13:15:30.476-04:00The following post is open part of an email I sent to Sena Khademi, my frat brother, good friend, and National Guardsman recently returned from a tour in Iraq. Yeah, they sent the National Guard to Iraq because it was cheaper than sending the Army. Anyways. He's going through some tough shit right now, and is being held for medical reasons at an Army hostipal in (IIRC) Washington, D.C. The rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-1074810283305144672004-01-22T17:24:00.000-05:002004-01-22T17:26:11.530-05:00the source of these ideas: I was brought to my new understanding by reading about near-death experiences. What I read simply made too much sense to not believe absolutely, and immediately. However, things I had not read about also became clear to me, as if I couldn't just take one piece of the understanding, I had to take it all at once. The conclusions I came to independently match up quiterainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-1074694638746482102004-01-21T09:17:00.000-05:002004-01-21T09:18:45.716-05:00more on the "religion".
if you take these words as gospel, i will personally come kick your ass.
The best religion is the one that brings you closest to God.
-Simple, straightforward. Gives you no room to bitch about other religions. The important thing is whether or not the person who believes that religion is getting closer to God as a result. Their belief system is irrelevant.
In the rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-1074101258972514912004-01-14T12:27:00.000-05:002004-01-14T12:28:59.123-05:00i wasn't really planning on posting, things to write about seemed a little personal. but i may have just been led to the single greatest discovery of my life. I don't know whether you, the reader, will be able to garner the same understanding from what I am about to try to describe, but I wish you only the best.
I found religion. The best one.
Sez youse: Which one is the best one?
Sez meez: rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-764724692002-05-12T18:40:00.000-04:002002-05-12T18:40:15.793-04:00been a long time, happy people.
i think i've already debated the sex/no sex issue. comes down to two things. 1. i have to be in love with her. 2. i have to be absolutely sure i want to go through with it. i'd prefer a virgin, i'd prefer to have it be with someone i want to marry. so in case you didn't realize, i'm still going out with jess, and will's still smoking pot by his lonesome. thisrainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-114333002002-04-03T20:24:00.000-05:002002-04-03T20:30:28.000-05:00update! la la la.
so i can stop telling the story over and over, i'll clear up a few things in here.
profile 1.
wait, wait...
no, nevermind, things don't suck as bad as i thought. will's a fucking bastard, though. he doesn't deserve friends. not any.
no, i'm serious here.
profile 2.
god cannot forgive those without remorse. nor will i.
the case for prior intent - the "exhibit" speech rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-112459032002-03-29T07:56:00.000-05:002002-03-29T07:56:56.706-05:00hey, another profile. 'bout goddamned time.
strapped on profile space.
getting hurt blows. i hate having to clean up a shitstorm that i didn't create, even if it's in everyone's best interests. but it's like andrew said: "you can always trust in god's twisted, morbid sense of humor." those canooks can really surprise you with their wisdom sometimes.
two words keep churning, now and then, inrainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-111674822002-03-27T03:56:00.000-05:002002-03-27T03:56:40.113-05:00written at 3:35 am, 3/27/02
copied to my blog whenever it says so.
it's infuriating.
something on your mind that eats you up. swallows you whole. i can't even sleep. i can't even write about it in my goddamned blog. firstly, because the blogger service is down right now. secondly, because anyone with my IM name can access my blog, and the information therein. and i don't want just anybodyrainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-104418572002-03-06T02:34:00.000-05:002002-03-06T02:34:04.646-05:00did i say we should get to the sex thing? yes.
to sex or not to sex?
i've come to realize again that somewhere along the line of my college career, the opportunity to have sex (with someone i care about) is sure to arise. on the one hand, i want to have sex. on the other hand, i don't. i might regret doing it, i might regret not. if i wait for "the one" and that relationship turns sour, i'llrainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-102646792002-03-01T10:07:00.000-05:002002-03-01T10:07:30.440-05:00so college has expanded my horizons, right?
it's amazing when something as simple as a good breakfast can renew a man's outlook on life. how have my horizons been changed? hazelnut chocolate chip muffins. count chocula (with marshmallows) in chocolate milk. orange guava passionfruit grape apple juice. learning that gin is drinkable, if only when mixed with pepsi. vomiting out of poison andrainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-102617602002-03-01T08:18:00.000-05:002002-03-01T10:10:05.000-05:00sorry about the long waits, there's just so much to do at college.
let's step back for a second. do you blame god for the bad things that happen in life? i for one would be offended if he interfered. it would make me doubt my control over my own life (which may in itself be an illusion, but that's another story). anyways, i was going to do a whole cop analogy, in that the cops don't stop rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-97055032002-02-13T22:11:00.000-05:002002-02-13T22:11:50.503-05:00once again, i find myself a good judge of character.
i really like that. i'd talked to my current roommate, ryan, for all of like 10 min before i knew the outline of his character. there hasn't been a surprise since. he believes strongly in college hedonism, and lives his life accordingly. he says hat he once thought like i do, and that i should just "loosen up, go bang a girl, hot chick, rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-94555502002-02-06T18:34:00.000-05:002002-02-06T18:34:46.650-05:00right, let's break it down.
four types of knowledge, in regards to public awareness. for my personal reference.
personal knowledge- stuff you know that noone else knows about. nobody. this also works if everyone else who knew is dead, and they didn't tell a soul. sometimes people can kind of tell, despite your best attempts to hide the info. these people are deviously clever, or you're rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-90483232002-01-25T17:00:00.000-05:002002-01-25T17:00:30.626-05:00bloody catholic church...
in local news, there is a recently defrocked priest. even amidst his 84 lawsuits filed against him (all of which relate to sexual misconduct against children), the catholic church is still supporting him. over 130 people say they have been raped or molested by this man. this is ridiculous! this is unforgivable. when the catholic church first got wind of this, they rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-90298452002-01-25T02:14:00.000-05:002002-01-25T02:14:31.693-05:00third new topic: girls, and why maybe you shouldn't believe them. imean seriously, when a girl says "i like a man who speaks his mind" or "tell me the truth", why do you think she means what she says? remember who we're dealing with here! "no, i'm washing my hair friday" is code for "get away from me, loser", "let's just be friends" is code for "whoa, i'm so not attracted to you that way", andrainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-89092392002-01-21T16:19:00.000-05:002002-01-21T16:19:45.583-05:00yay! new topics! three, in fact.
first new topic: lesbians. since i've never been a lesbian, nor gay, it's kind of difficult to keep a firm grasp on this concept. i've found and lost it three times in the past week, so bear with me. basically i was trying to figure out why, even with homosexuals, the relationship is commonly broken down into masculine/feminine, active/passive, yin/yang type rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-87561752002-01-16T15:22:00.000-05:002002-01-16T15:22:48.183-05:00drumroll please.
if you scroll to the top of this page, you should see a link that says "contact the author". that link now works, so if you're cute and female and you enjoyed my blog, write me! it would also help if you lived within like an hour radius of UMass Amherst, but hey. can't ask for everything. still, i'm all for torrid internet romances. they can be interesting, if not productiverainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-87060682002-01-15T01:57:00.000-05:002002-01-15T01:57:39.176-05:00blah blahblah blahblah.
try to get a feel for the pace of those blahs.
college! where art thou college. sick of being at home, ready to leave.
friend, female, asked me if i would be interested in going to scotland with her in the early summer. and i'm not quite sure what to make of it. aside from the minor social angst, i'd love to go, if i can get the money by the end of february -and- sherainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-86125862002-01-11T19:06:00.000-05:002002-01-11T19:06:09.260-05:00i'm doin alright. i'm feelin ok.
i was driving in the car last night, listening to some songs on the radio. system of a down's chop suey and toxicity, nin's closer to god. they is some kickass songs. so i was driving home from amherst, and you know, my entire digestive system was content, and feeling very comfortable, the music was good, my future seemed clear and bright, and now i know.. i rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-83165512002-01-01T06:39:00.000-05:002002-01-01T06:39:19.350-05:00i love sleep.
hey, it's the new year! it feels so... not different. not at all. i still got drunk and made resolutions like everyone else. i'm down with the new year's jive. so! since i was chilling with my bud Will, we made 3 resolutions each as we were watching the last 7 min of the "old year" on channel 4.
mine:
1. be late less often. (will probably be the hardest for me =/ )
2. drink rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-82717852001-12-30T05:08:00.000-05:002001-12-30T05:08:45.733-05:00minor update today.
two new webcomics added to the links on the side, one just rounded its hundreth comic. it's good. i'm not sure whether it's really inteligent, or just different. either way, check out "boy on a stick and slither". the other one is quite new, it seems.
recently i realized how noisy technology is. imean, all the time we hear trucks, planes, heavy machinery, etc, and it rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-82503652001-12-29T03:40:00.000-05:002001-12-29T03:40:31.680-05:00what a bastard christmas.
there was hope, you know, that i might get the christmas spirit while listening to the local oldies station on christmas eve, but all that was dashed the next day, when my mother gave me a dozen pieces of clothes and some bad cordial cherries the next day. so i sat there, reading my "how to survive the worst situations possible" book from my sister and eating but not rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-81210702001-12-22T05:12:00.000-05:002001-12-22T05:12:18.793-05:00i promised a poem, and i wanted one, but it wasn't coming out. so i lied. a phrase came to mind the other day: "choke out a smile / hold back the tears" and i felt it was poem worthyy, but.. it seems i can only write as my heart feels now, and right now nothing burns in my heart... just kind of.. simmers. i'll crap out a short post today about a thing that's been bothering me. oh, and go seerainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-80302532001-12-18T19:05:00.000-05:002001-12-18T19:05:50.290-05:00you guys are the luckiest, you get all my new AIM profiles =P.
disorientation is bad.
imean, it's nice to get a little drunk, or a little stoned, to smooth out the edges a bit. mild disorientation is great. but when you're so wasted that you can't even properly form a sentence and everything you say is incredibly inane, you've had too much. but i don't try to 'trip out'. that's just not me.
rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-79483532001-12-15T05:38:00.000-05:002001-12-18T19:07:27.000-05:00so i was thinking how much i like this format.
imean, no demand, none at all. that makes it a lot easier to actually get stuff done with my blog. i write when i want to, i don't when i don't. the obligation of a daily journal is something i inherently rebel against, just like any other chore and/or deadline. my AIM profile has taken it's true form too.. it has two parts, the body and the rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-79220742001-12-14T05:31:00.000-05:002001-12-14T05:31:21.030-05:00today kind of sucked. imean, i wake up to finf out that no job will take me if i leave at the end of january. i have no money. when i get to college, there seems to be little chance of success with women. i really really suck at starcraft. my EverQuest leveling motivation is all but gone. i still can't draw comics. and to cap it off, i accidentally hit "esc" halfway though this post, so it rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-78312382001-12-11T06:25:00.000-05:002001-12-11T06:25:41.496-05:00hey, it's another post! this is an exceprt from my most recent aim profile:
the "fishing" approach to womanhunting.
so it breaks down like this: when you fish, you throw your line out, you wait for a tug.
same thing with girls. bait, cast, wait. tug? reel it in. no fish? bait, cast, wait. the "bait" is appearing desirable. this can be acheived in numerous ways depending on your desired catch,rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-75238772001-11-30T02:31:00.000-05:002001-11-30T02:31:39.310-05:00if we're both lucky, i'll learn how to condense my thoughts. i just have so much to say about everything =/.
hey it's an AIM profile this time!
this morning, instead of sleeping, i watched the sky brighten through my window. i don't why, but i started feeling genuinely glad to be alive. the feeling had been building since about four am, maybe five, and had totally formed itself by the time rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-73932022001-11-25T17:01:00.000-05:002001-11-25T17:01:08.640-05:00note: although i hope to understand well the path of a true philosopher, i do not aspire to be one. there's a lot that i like about the lifestyle, so i'll do my best to incorporate those parts into the way i live my life. but there's a number of things that i dislike about it, so i'll try to cut those out. my life aspirations are simply more expansive than getting closer and closer to truth.
rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-73403322001-11-23T04:54:00.000-05:002001-11-23T04:54:15.930-05:00note: any piece where i sound too sure of myself, simply append the phrase "to the best of my knowledge" and reread.
wow, been away from my blog for too long. been out of town, visiting my sister and friend in amherst, mass. of course, visiting my sister consists of buying her food and playing ddr (dance dance revolution, it's an incredible game), and visiting my friend consists of getting rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-71922332001-11-17T06:08:00.000-05:002001-11-17T06:10:51.000-05:00recipe for the day: 1 part orange juice, 1 part apple cider, casually swirl glass around until mixed, drink
well, now that's i've gotten past the trivialities of starting a blog, i'm going to bitch about how much i dislike this blogger interface. for example, scroll down and to the left and you'll see a spot that tells me to put some personal information in. however, after 20 min or so of rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207269.post-70783252001-11-12T23:18:00.000-05:002001-11-17T06:10:11.000-05:00oh yeah! my first post. normally i'll have two parts per post, my comments, my thoughts; sometimes i'll just get lazy and do one or the other. speaking of lazy, those of you who know me may recall these first "thoughts" from my various AIM profiles in the past couple weeks. so, we begin a most perilous journey.
the story of ubersquirrel
maybe there's just too much squirrel peer pressure. imeanrainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073075094789532623noreply@blogger.com